


forget-me-not

by idontreallylikebutterflies (Laulerelelere)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Drabble, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Wizard Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laulerelelere/pseuds/idontreallylikebutterflies
Summary: "I think I'm in love with you," Essek whispers, as low as he can, surrounded by Caleb's best friends. "And I don't know what to do with it."Caleb blinks, once, twice, in complete silence. "I did not know that."
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 27
Kudos: 258





	forget-me-not

"I think I'm in love with you," Essek whispers, as low as he can, surrounded by Caleb's best friends. They are supposedly sleeping, but that is never a certainty with The Mighty Nein. Nothing ever is, if Essek is being completely honest. "And I don't know what to do with it." 

Caleb blinks, once, twice, in complete silence. "I did not know that."

It is not the worst thing he could have said, but it is—not the best. On a scale from one to ten where one was 'I don't want to ever speak to you again' and ten was 'I, too, am madly in love with you' that answer is maybe a three. A four, if Essek is being generous. "I was trying not to be too obvious." 

"You—You succeeded." 

"Good." Essek reaches towards his cloak. Caleb tries to stop him, but his hand stops before they touch, frozen mid-air. "I will be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"I will be right back," Essek repeats, very close to snapping as he gets up. "Go back to sleep." 

***

By the time he comes back, Caleb is asleep, and Essek can move his sleeping bag away—as far away as the dome will allow him to. He carves himself a small space close to where Jester is, knowing he risks Sprinkle peeing on his hair during the night, but preferring it to trying to sleep with the man he is in love with so close to him. 

He starts his planning right there, to get over—the infatuation. The plans had almost been done, the only reason why he had not finished them being that he did not know if he would have to use them in future, but that has changed, now. He needs to get over this.

He is going to be fine. 

***

"Essek, are you in love with me?" Jester asks, first thing in the morning, the sun barely starting to shine over the horizon. She seems to be preparing an umbrella close to him so the sun will not bother him, which would be sweeter if she had not woken him up anyway. 

"You know I'm not," he answers. His heart is beating fast, afraid that maybe this is the beginning of her teasing, that maybe she heard their conversation last night. 

"Then why did you move last night? You were sleeping between Caleb and Caduceus!" 

Oh. 

"Frumpkin kept walking over my face, so I moved to avoid him." It should worry him, how easy it is for him, still, to lie to the Mighty Nein. Although last night he confessed his love to the person he most wanted to keep it a secret from, so—maybe not. 

"Oh, man." Beau's voice is muffled, barely audible due to the fact that her face is absolutely buried on a pillow. "Frumpkin can be a real asshole when you are trying to sleep." 

"My cat is not an asshole." Caleb's hoarse voice mutters. He has not opened his eyes, but he looks—grumpy, for lack of a better word. Essek's heart is beating fast again.

He is pathetic. He is in love, and pathetic. 

"Fuck y—" Beau trails off before she finishes the sentence, too sleepy to stay awake. 

Jester looks at her for a few seconds, seemingly fascinated—and distracted. Distracted enough that the umbrella comes toppling down over Essek's face.

It is not the best way of beginning a day.

***

Essek is in a bad mood the rest of the morning, as they pick up their things and begin to put them in their cart. Everyone else apparently assumes that it is due to an umbrella almost sticking itself into his eye before eight in the morning, and Essek does not correct them.

"Is your eye okay?" 

Essek avoids Caleb's gaze as best he can, and nods curtly. "It's just fine. Jester made sure of it." 

"That's good." 

Essek starts turning around. He makes enough eye-contact to realize Caleb seems both hurt and confused, but Essek has the right to be non-confrontational—and a coward—when he is heartbroken, so he leaves.

***

"Caleb, what the fuck?" 

Caleb ignores Beau's scream. He looks like he had the realization of a lifetime, which would explain the sudden jumping and the elbowing Beau on the ribs, but does not explain why he is staring at Essek like that. 

"Ouch!" Caleb yells, snapping out of it thanks to Beauregard's "friendly" punch on the arm. "It was an accident, stop."

They spend the rest of the trip bickering, but every once in a while his eyes crawl their way back to Essek, a contemplative look on his face.

***

"Can we talk?" Caleb asks. It is unfair. Essek has not even had the time to leave the cart. He is making it difficult for Essek to avoid him. 

It is tempting to say 'no' and immediately leave, but Caleb did look like he had just had an idea earlier when he attempted to murder Beauregard—her words—so maybe it is magic related. Essek cannot resist Caleb's magic. 

"Is it about magic?" Essek asks. They are alone inside the cart now, as much privacy as one can get around this group of people. 

"No." Essek starts to move, but Caleb continues. "I forgot to tell you I'm in love with you too." 

Essek stops. He is pretty sure his heart does, too. "That's—a difficult thing to forget, I would say." 

"I was exhausted," Caleb justifies. "And I was surprised. I'm sorry I forgot." 

"Right." 

They stay in silence for a minute, awkward. The others will be wondering where they are by now. Caleb starts moving forward, then stops. "Can I kiss you?" 

"Will you forget it happened, after?" Essek says, just for the sake of being argumentative, a smirk already on his face.

"I'd like to think you're more memorable than that." 

Caleb gets the last word, but Essek is not going to complain mid-kiss. He might do it after, if he remembers to. 

He does not think he will. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a three am drabble. Hope you enjoyed it! You can comment/leave kudos if you did.


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